First off, if you came to watch MK for an Oscar award winning script with a moving story and hella amazing metaphors...you're an idiot. You don't get to complain about the script when first off, this has never been a title you go to for a script; second off, it's a martial arts movie; and third off, it's a video game movie. So be like Sub-Zero and cool it with the script hate. So here we go, here is the official 30&Nerdy rating and review of the newest to drop on HBO Max...Mortal Kombat. Again...fighty fight blockbuster, not an Oscar movie. Oh yeah, and spoilers are ahead! So you've been warned, but if you haven't seen it; I still recommend it to fans of the games.
So we open with Feudal Japan hundreds of years ago; we see a man, his wife, son and newborn daughter. We learn pretty quickly that they are in some sort of hidden sanctuary with guards. His name is Hanzo. He is helping with chores by going off to get water for their garden. While he is gone, assassins attack led by Bi-Han...who we soon find out is Sub Zero. He kills Hanzo's wife and son, but we do not know if he found the daughter hidden under the floor. So Hanzo comes back and kills all the assassins with some bad ass choreography, in my opinion. We get the feeling pretty quick, through his martial arts and weapon use, that this is, in fact Scorpion. However, he doesn't last long. After killing all of the assassins, Bi-Han steps in and a pretty cool fight is had. Winner Winner...Bi-Han AKA Sub Zero. After he leaves, Hanzo is barely alive, crawling toward the cries of his daughter. He doesn't make it though. we get a shot of his dragon tattoo and flames begin to engulf him. We are led to believe this sends him to Hell. However, a man in a certain looking hat arrives to save the infant. We learn quickly this is Lord Raiden. He takes the child in vanishes in a strike of lightning.
Flash forward to present day, we meet Cole. Ok, first off...yes Cole is a new character created for the movie. So Riddle me this. How do you bitch about the script and no originality, but also bitch when they create an original character for the movie. Gah, some of you Nerds are relentless and annoying. Ok, so moving on. Cole is an aged cage fighter doing a a quick fight for some money. He is talented, but the running joke is that he is a punching bag and can't seal the deal anymore. So he loses his bloody fight, but we get a sweet moment with his daughter making bracelets with a yellow and black scheme...hint hint. Then we meet Jax. Jax talks to him for a bit. Nothing big, but we can tell he is kind of getting the feel for Cole and testing him out some. They leave each other, and Cole takes his wife and daughter to dinner. While dinner is taking place, we get a flash to OutWorld, where, we can only guess Shang Tzung orders the newly dressed Sub Zero to find and kill Earth's champions...again. We learn that they have been cheating for the past 9 tournaments. So Sub Zero interrupts dinner and chases Cole and his family. Jax saves them and sends them on, taking on Sub Zero alone. We get a pretty quick fight. Sub Zero freezes Jax's arms and rips them off. He sends him falling through a building. Looks dead, but we know that it's Jax...soooo...
In the next little bit, Cole takes his family to a hidden cabin while he goes to find Sonya Blade, at the request of Jax. He comes across her in a junkyard. After getting his ass kicked by her, he proves who he is. She fills him in on things and introduces him to her prisoner, Kano; which, full honesty...he steals the whole movie. Every scene. Of course, it's not hard to steal a scene from Sonya....her acting is bad...just bad. They are attacked by Reptile! Yes and invisible serpent type creature. IT's very very ummmm different. Reptile was always one of my favorites to fight as, and I just haven't been happy with the renditions of Reptile I have seen. This one is like Godzilla and Killer Croc had a child. However it is a cool scene. We get some great one liners from Kano, action from Sonya, and even get a heart ripping fatality. Even after, Kano steals the show. This guy is funny. Even then, more bad acting from Sonya Blade. So they make a deal and Kano is going to help them to Raiden's Temple.
We are on the plane now. The plane to Raiden's Temple. Up until now, we have been getting dreams that Cole is having. Dreams of a man in fire trying to contact him. So we are now in the journey to the temple...like something out of Zelda. They have a cool scene where Sonya kicks Kano's ass, but then we meet Liu Kang. They join up and travel together to the temple. This Liu Kang is pretty cool. More martial artist and hero, less like a lead character in a 90's movie. He has his abilities and uses them with ease. More like the character from the game. So we enter the temple, get more bad acting from Sonya, we get some art depicting former tournaments and characters from the game like Goro and Barakka. So now, we prepare for training montages. Kano steals a necklace and Lou Kano confronts him. Kinda funny. Jax is at the temple and Liu Kang is trying to heal him. Luckily the ice cauterized the wounds. Liu Knag does some over acting a bit in introducing Lord Raiden. We get another comical moment with Kano.
Training time! Sub Zero shows up to wreck shit, almost kills Lou Kang, but by gawd my boy Kung Lau shows up! Spinning hat and everything! We get a nice little face off and stare down with the good guys and the bad guys. Shang Tsung drops a line about souls being his, I marked out for that as a fan of the games. Lord Raiden arrives and flexes a bit on Shang Tsung. There is a stare down and some action film dialogue, but then we get more wit from Kano. We get an odd cheese introduction from Kung Lau. Yet again, Liu Kang says your training has begun....so we get a small montage of training. They are trying to unlock their Arcana of hidden abilities. Kung Lau is badass. He starts using his hast like Captain America does a shield. Jax wakes up. I liked the Easter egg inside joke of the spamming the trip button. That was funny. Kano even does the video game style jump. Funny stuff.
We get a moment where Lui Kang helps Cole with his wound and a story about his past. Liu Kang took the mark from a pedophile and met Lord Raiden as a child. We get a moment with the first version of Jax's arms, as he trains with Sonya. She does some more bad acting while helping him come to terms. Actually until now, I didn't notice he was Jimmy from Supergirl. However, we get a dinner moment with the group....like a bad family dinner. Kano starts arguing with Kung Lau. As they are arguing with some pretty good banter, Kano gets pissed off and his laser eye activates. Then we get back to training...again. Cole is fighting Kano and doing terribly.
After the fight, we get Cole's lineage. He is the descendant of Scorpion. Raiden gives us the story and does a lot of shit talking cause Cole has kind of sucked up until now. So Cole goes home with his tail between his legs....and more bad acting from Sonya Blade. We get a flash to OutWorld where Shang Tsung meets with Kabal, Melaina, Reiko, and tells them he needs help. We learn that Kabal knows Kano and then Prince Goro enters. End Scene.
The next scene shows a meeting between Kano and Kabal. Kabal looks like The Predator and Darth Vader had a child. Kabal has the exact accent that I would expect him to have. It looks like Kano has turned on us here. He destroys the shield. The bad guys attack. Goro also shows up at Cole's house. Kano has joined Shang Tsung! We get a nice little fight montage. Flashing from the temple to Cole's cabin. Shang Tsung shouts FINISH THEM! Again, marked out! In the battle, we get some amazing fights. Kabaal is awesome. Sonya vs Malaina, Goro vs Cole, Jax vs Reiko, Kabaal vs Lui Kang, Shang Tsung vs Kung Lau with his huntress helping. Kung Lau makes short work of her...drops the FLAWLESS VICTORY line! Mark out! gore is about to kill Cole when his wife intervenes. It looks like he is going to kill them, and then Cole's power takes over. He is covered in this golden armer and fights back. His new armor is absorbing Goro's blows. We get the uppercut finally. Cole grows these armored batons and truly Fs up Goro. his batons kind of look like Striker's from the game. Flash back to The Temple, Jax gains his ability while saving Sonya. His ability is well....his arms turn into Cyborg's arms all of a sudden from DC. Raiden arrives to bring Cole back to his Temple. As Raiden is taking them from the temple, Shang Tsung kills Kung Lau by sucking his soul out. This breaks Liu Kang's heart.
Raiden convenes with them in The Void. He sends them to fight the others with Cole's plan. Sonya v Kano, Jax v Reiko, Lui and Cole v Melaina and Kabaal. Sub Zero will be saved for last. So basically we get somewhat of a tournament or fight to prove that there needs to be a tournament. So there's that. These fights actually take place in levels very similar to the games. We get fatalities and even somewhat of remixes of the original theme song from the 90's. It's a lot of fun actually. The fight with Jax is short and buddy. The fight with Kano and Sonya is good and personal. Just like we wanted. Just when it looks like Sonya is done, she kills Kano making the tattoo pass to her. So...yay Her acting will be in the sequel....joy. Lui Kang breaks out the bicycle kick from the game in his fight with Kabaal and brings out his fiery fatality of the dragons fire. Melaina, who is kind of like her character mixed with Barrakka, is about to kill Cole, when Sonya shows up and automatically has her ability. Sooooo that's fair.
Sub Zero shows up at Cole's home and abducts them. This lures Cole to fight him. Cole kid of sucks at this fight too. Sub Zero is about to kill Cole, when Hanzo arrives from Hell. Finally, Scorpion v Sub Zero! Great fight. While they fight, Cole tries to break his family out of the ice. The Scorpion fight sees Sub Zero do his ice clone trick, his Ice Sword, Scorpion with his GET OVER HERE, and Cole and Scorpion team up against Sub Zero. In the fight Sub Zero loses his armor and is killed by Cole and Scorpion. Scorpion uses his fire fatality from the game to destroy Sub Zero! This was a great fight! So Scorpion tells Cole to take car of his bloodline and disappears in fire. Will he and Sub Zero return? Maybe. As Scorpion taught us, Death is not the end.
The gang reunites with Cole and meets his family. Shang Tsung and Raiden talk. We learn that, "Death is only another portal." Raiden sends Shang Tsung packing back to OutWorld. So we have our new champions, and they are all sent on a journey to find the others to fight. Cole is heading to Hollywood! Oh yeah, if you didn't know by now, Johnny Cage was NOT in this movie. However, I imagine he will be in the sequel because that is who Cole is going to get for Lord Raiden.
So there it is. The official 30&Nerdy Podcast breakdown of Mortal Kombat. Oh, and no post credit scenes! My rating...
Story: 3 / 10
Characters: 6 / 10
Action: 8 / 10
Music: 3 / 10
Total: 5 / 10